Total Drama Stars in a Reasonably Priced Car
by Hugh Takinamee
Summary: After running out of guests and celebrities, Jeremy Clarkson decided to guest star the stars and cast of the Total Drama series! Who will take on the challenging track in a reasonably priced Vauxhall? Who will top the leader board? Who will go down in history as one of the slowest stars in the segment? Read here! It's Top Gear and Total Drama combined! R&R. First up: Chris McLean


**A/N: Hey guys! So, this originally came up as a little drabble. But after a month or so of thinking, I'm like, what the hey?**

 **This is a new little fic called "Star In A Reasonably Priced Car". Sounds familiar, right? No? Okay, it's from this little BBC show called "Top Gear". After what happened with Jeremy Clarkson, I want to do this because, well... I love Top Gear. So yeah.**

 **Here's what's going on. Jeremy Clarkson is going to interview a Total Drama contestant, in which they must agree to do some laps in a reasonably priced car. That's it.**

 **With that, enjoy! Read and review!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama or Top Gear. They're owned by TeleToon and the BBC, respectively.**

* * *

The audience claps in unison as the McLaren P1 just lapped the Top Gear test track. "Alright," Jeremy Clarkson shouted. "Now, as you can see, the Pagani Huayra is up there, 1:13.8."

"The P1 did it in..."

"One."

"Thirteen." The crowd then started to 'ooooh'.

Clarkson then waits for a second or two to get the studio audience's anticipation up. "Dead."

The crowd then started to clap and cheer as Jeremy placed the fastest car on top of the leaderboard, finally knocking the Pagani down to second place.

"Now, time for the 'Star in the Reasonably Priced Car'. This week, though, he is the host of some TV show that I've never heard of, leading some random teens to do some chaos and drama. He is the host of the Total Drama..."

"Chris McLean!"

The audience claps wildly as the host of the Total Drama series walks along the aisle, up into the area where the three presenters normally do the news.

"How are you, Chris?" Jeremy asked, taking out his hand.

"Very well, thank you." Chris replied, shaking Jeremy's hand.

"Please, take a seat." By that time, the audience clapping died down. "So, Chris. You're the host of one of the most successful TV shows in the world."

"Yeah, yeah. I was really surprised when I heard that Total Drama and Top Gear are neck-in neck, I was like... 'Damn, I gotta Jeremy Clarkson about this.' And here I am," Chris joked.

The audience laughed, however Jeremy gave only a small chuckle.

"Alright. So, besides Total Drama, what do you do?" Jeremy asked, leaning forward on his chair.

Chris shrugged. "Nothing really. I mean, besides Total Drama and a few TV shows, I really don't do anything. Perks of being famous."

"Oh, rubbish!" Jeremy countered. "I know I've seen you on an awards show in America, where you had a bit too much and attempted to kiss Jennifer Lawerence, before throwing up on her dress! Can we get a video of that, please?"

*TV shows Chris and Jennifer Lawerence together*

"Wow, hey... haha... wanna make out with me, babe?" Chris asked drunkenly. "Come on, it'll be worthwhile!"

"Eww, no! Go away, Chris!" Jennifer pushed him away from the camera shot. "Now, what was the question?" But before any of that happened, Chris came back and immediately threw up on her dress.

The audience finally laughs and applauds as the video fades back to the famous Top Gear logo. "Care to tell me what happened?" Jeremy asked, chuckling.

"Well, you kinda described it, really," Chris chuckled.

"So, tell me. You're from Newfoundland, up in Canada. But you have two houses, one in Los Angeles, and one in Toronto. And you have a cousin that, I kid you not, looks like Rupert Grint, has about the same height of Richard Hammond, and the accent of a drunk Scotsman. Can we get a picture of what his brother looks like?"

The TV then showed a picture of Jerd McLean, his cousin. The audience lauged upon sight.

"Yup, yup. Good ol' Jerd," Chris smiled.

Jeremy laughed as the picture faded away. "Alright, moving on. Got any cars? Tell us about it."

Chris cleared his throat. "Yeah, got a few cars at both my homes. Really good ones, like the Huracan, the M3 Beemer, and my Rolls Royce. And the best ones, like my Range Rover and my Mercedes McLaren."

"Good ones. So have you done any racing before?" Clarkson asked.

"Well, yeah. There was one in which I partook to see who's the best TV host in all of Canada. And I won," Chris smiled.

"What car did you race in, exactly?"

"You know those Miatas? Those were the cars we raced. Who knew cheap and cheerful can be fun!" Chris gave a smile to Clarkson.

"Then why don't you buy one?" Clarkson jokingly asked.

"Uh, I'm rich?" Chris responded, much to the audience, who gave a small chuckle. "Trust me, I like the Miata, but there are better cars than that."

"Alright, now you came on down here to do a lap in our Reasonably Priced Car. Our trusty Vauxhall Astra. How do you think you did?"

"I really don't know," Chris laughed. "No seriously. I may have those cars at home, but I rarely drive. I have my chauffer do the driving."

"Alright, who wants to see Chris's lap?" Jeremy asked, in which the audience replied a "YES" in unison. "Okay, let's see the tape."

* * *

The footage then showed a red Vauxhall Astra waiting at the start line, ready to be driven by Chris McLean. He revved the engine twice, before screeching the tires for the off.

"Wow, not a bad car," Chris said, as he shifted into second gear.

The car came into the first corner, looking to be wide on the entry. "Ooh, you got a wide line there, like a Formula 1 driver." The camera then cutted to Chris, who seemed to have a hard time, was about to face Chicago. "Alright, Chicago. Did you go wide here?"

"And yep, he did."

The camera then cutted to a shot where the front of the car was ready to break for a corner. "Alright, Hammerhead. Hardest corner. Did you stay in the line?"

"Yeah, tried to," Chris said. And indeed he did stay in the line as he turned a sharp left, then right.

"Now, flat out through the back straight and into the Follow-through. You didn't lift, right?"

"Uh, no?" Chris gulped.

"Aw, *bleep*. Here it is." Chris said to the camera, much to the amusement of the audience and Clarkson.

The video then showed Chris tapping on the breaks slightly before flying onto a wide right hander before going all out through the tires. As Chris went into the backstraight, into the Second-to-Last Corner, he actually went off to the side cutting through the apex. "Ooh, nice entry there. And now, Gambon."

As the footage showed Chris going through Gambon, Jeremy commented. "That understeer. Not bad, and across the line." The audience then clapped as the TV faded to the logo.

* * *

"So, how do you think you did, now that you've looked at our leaderboard?" Jeremy asked.

"I have no idea who these people are..." the audience chuckled. "But I would love to be on top."

"Well, Chris McLean. I have the results here. You did it in one minute..." He said as he wrote his name and time on the magnetic strip.

"…forty..."

The audience then started to "ooooh" as Chris leaned forward on his chair.

"...five point two. 1:45.2. So you are faster than Jimmy Carr!"

The audience then started clapping as Jeremy placed the time on the board. Chris stood up, and shook Jeremy's hand. As the audience's clapping died down, the two took a seat again. "Not what I had in mind," Chris chuckled, as did the audience.

"Well, you did say you want to be on top, right? Apparently, you are!" Clarkson said. However, that only irated Chris, as he stood up and faced Clarkson. But Clarkson's six-foot-five height was too much for the narcissist to bear. "Okay then... Wow, I'm actually glad I got to be a part of this," he chuckled.

"Well, it's been an absolute pleasure for you to come down here. Ladies and gentlemen, Chris McLean!" Jeremy shouted. The audience clapped as the camera showed the wide shot of the entire Top Gear studio.

* * *

 **A/N: And there you have it! The first guest was Chris himself. Tell me, guys, who do you want to see in the next chapter?**

 **With that, thank you so much for reading! Make sure to please leave a review, and make sure to favorite and follow this story!**

 **Thanks for reading, and I'll see you guys next time!**


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